Twelve days until I turn 24 and I'm having some thoughts about it.
I'm 12 days away from turning 24 and I've been having this weird realisation that I don't feel young anymore. Not in a dramatic, life-is-over way, just in a "when did this happen" kind of way.
The moment it really hit me was about seven months ago when I hurt my shoulder at the gym. Nothing crazy dramatic - just lifted something wrong and felt this sharp pain. Classic me, I figured it would just heal itself like everything else in my life had done up until that point. My body had always been pretty reliable. I could stay up until 5am and be fine by morning. Minor injuries would just disappear if I ignored them long enough.
Except this one didn't. Six months later I'm still dealing with this intermittent shooting pain and I'm like... oh. So this is what getting older feels like. Welcome to your mid-twenties, your warranty has expired.
It's not the end of the world, but it's definitely a shift. Like my body sent me a notification that said "hey, we're updating the terms and conditions."
The "25 before 25" reality check
I've been looking at my "25 before 25" list lately and it's been... interesting. When I made that list at 22, I was so optimistic. Everything felt achievable. Two years felt like FOREVER. I thought I'd naturally evolve into this goal-crushing machine.
Some of this has actually happened, which is great. But some of the goals I was most excited about feel further away now than when I started, which is less great. There's also this weird thing where you achieve something you really wanted and then you're just like... okay, now what? The satisfaction lasts about five minutes before you're thinking about the next thing.
I have one year left and honestly, I'm not sure if I feel motivated or just tired. Maybe both? The mid-twenties seem to be this constant state of "I'm doing things but am I doing the right things?"
It's fine. Everything's fine. I'm fine.
The Forbes 30 Under 30 situation
Okay this is going to sound shallow but I'm going to say it anyway because this is my blog and I've committed to being honest about my weird anxieties.
I'm genuinely stressed about making Forbes 30 Under 30. Not because I think it actually validates my entire existence, but because somewhere along the way it became this arbitrary benchmark in my head. Right now I can still say I'm "under 25" which feels like having extra time, but that window is closing fast.
I know logically that success doesn't have an expiration date. But emotionally? There's this weird pressure that comes with achieving things young where you feel like you have to keep hitting these age-based milestones or you've somehow failed at being a successful young person.
It's giving "peaked in high school" energy but make it corporate. Not my best look, but here we are.
Mum's timeline suggestions (and why she might have a point)
And then there's my mum, who's been increasingly fond of mentioning that I should start thinking about settling down. Because apparently turning 24 means I need to add "find life partner" to my already overwhelming mental to-do list.
I'll be stressing about whether I'm building the right career or making the right decisions, and she'll just casually drop in conversation that I'm at "that age" where I should be considering my future in terms of relationships. As if I'm not already questioning every life choice I make on a semi-regular basis.
But here's the thing - part of me actually agrees with her. Not about the timeline necessarily, but about the fact that I am at an age where thinking about partnership makes sense. I've got my life relatively together, I know who I am better than I did a few years ago, and I'm stable enough to actually be a good partner to someone.
The conflict is that I also feel like I'm in this amazing phase where I can do anything, go anywhere, make any decision based purely on what I want. Starting to seriously think about sharing my life with someone feels like it would change that freedom, even if it might be worth it.
It's this weird push and pull between wanting independence and also recognising that building something meaningful with another person is probably one of the most important things you can do in life. My mum isn't wrong, I'm just not sure I'm ready to give up being completely selfish with my choices yet.
When your body starts sending notifications
The shoulder thing was actually a reality check because it was my body's way of saying "hey, we're not 18 anymore, start paying attention to us."
I can't run on three hours of sleep for a week anymore. Well, I still do it because apparently I never learn, but now there are actual consequences. I need to stretch now, apparently. I have to actually warm up before working out instead of just jumping straight into things.
Last weekend I stayed up until 3am working on something (because I'm terrible at time management) and I was genuinely useless the next day. I keep telling myself I need eight hours of sleep to function properly, but then I'll still be up late because "just one more thing" and wake up feeling like I've been hit by a truck.
The evolution is real but I'm actively fighting it, which is probably not the smartest strategy.
The weird thing about this stage
My friends are all in completely different life stages. Some are still in uni, others are getting married, some are switching careers entirely. It's this weird thing where everyone's timing is different but we're all kind of figuring it out as we go.
I think I've actually figured out how to be an adult, which is kind of surprising. I can manage my finances, handle my responsibilities, make decisions that aren't completely terrible. The basics are covered.
But here's the thing - I don't want to be an older adult. I like this version of myself. I like being young and ambitious and having energy and possibilities. The idea of getting older feels like I'm going to lose something important, even if I can't quite put my finger on what that is.
Maybe it's the sense that anything could happen. Maybe it's the feeling that I still have time to completely change direction if I want to. Maybe it's just that being young feels like having potential energy, and getting older feels like it's being converted into something else.
Maybe this is just how it works
I keep thinking there should be some moment where I feel ready to get older, but I'm starting to think that's not really how it works. It's more like you just keep being yourself while your body and circumstances change around you.
I used to think people who went to bed early were boring. Now I understand the appeal even if I still can't commit to it. I used to think having strong opinions about things like thread count or which coffee shop has the best wifi was pointless. Now I definitely have preferences about these things and I'm not sure when that happened.
The shift isn't that I don't feel young anymore - it's that I feel like I'm in this sweet spot where I'm competent but still have room to grow. And I'm not ready to leave this stage yet.
Twelve days until 24. I guess I'll figure out how to be this age the same way I figured out how to be 23, and 22, and every age before that. Just wish time would slow down a little bit.